The term “instant intimacy” was coined by my coach and friend, Keith Ferrazzi, in his book Never Eat Alone which focuses on the importance of networking. Instant intimacy, in simple terms, means the ease of connecting with strangers in a very short span of time.
Most of us, in our respective professional communities, aspire to connect with people and role models at networking events, in an office elevator, or just walking down the hall. We are not sure of the ways to open up the conversation, to make the other person interested in us and we are short of words.
Here are a few tips to jumpstart a path to instant Intimacy with strangers:
1. Professional Achievements
If you appreciate the other person for his professional achievements, let him know about it. I was looking for an opportunity to connect with a sales leader for an IT company; once I got a chance to meet him at an event; I shared sincere appreciation for his achievements, his rise up the chain, and further asked him for what he felt were his keys to success. The conversation started and ended with a lifelong friendship. Now we connect periodically to exchange ideas around sales management.
2. Wardrobe
To a large extent, the colors and choice of clothes define the personality of a person. A sincere appreciation on the choice of clothes helps in connecting with the human side of the other person. I met a senior executive assistant in his office who was known to be a tough gatekeeper. During our first conversation, I commented on the choice of her wardrobe and colors which opened up a comfortable conversation. We talked about clothing, fabric and texture. Our conversation was more about two human beings discussing professional dress rather than a sales guy talking to a gatekeeper. This lady not only gave me good advice on clothing, she helped me sell my ideas to her manager, the senior executive.
3. Appearance
Everybody in this world is gifted with some physical attraction factor (PAF). It could be about their eyes, their hair, their voice, or something as simple as their smile. I am always on the lookout for the PAF in strangers. Once I met a well known CEO in the aviation industry at an industry event and I dropped in a sincere appreciation for the unique color in his eyes which lead to a discussion about the lineage of eye color in his family. The comment served as an ice – breaker and helped us connect at a human level.
In this fast paced social media enabled world, do you struggle getting in front of your prospects. Here is an effective trick that I learned from an expert technology sales professional- Shawn Whitcomb. 
